akward alert.

5 years of my live in an all girl's school was loads of fun. (penggunaan bhsa rojak akn dignkn selepas ini) seriously, x leh nak describe bertapa meaningfulnya hidup kat jb fr 5 years. the bond dgn kwn2, formates, cikgu2. the only male yg ada hanya la cikgu, abang dining hall n pakcik guard (tu pon x dpt nk make up 95% of the population kt skolah). hidup dikelilingi prmpuan n it was such an advantage in a way. bayangkan, klu skolah coed, jawatan pengerusi or ketua pape pon mesti lelaki biasanya. klu sports plak, girls x rmi yg aktif sbb lelaki biasanya conquer court, x pon girls rmi yg segan.

the disadvantage nya, jatoh kpd org2 yg cam aku. bila dh kuar skolah, masok u, rasa mcm sngt akward dgn boys. lg2 bila program kita ada boys double dr prmpuan. ~haish~. mybe ramai je dak2 all girls yg kluar dr skola diorg n mcm ok je. mesti korg rasa cam poyo kn knp aku nk blog pasal benda ni, but mesti ada gak yg kene sindrom2 culture shock cam aku.

klu kat skola dulu, i don't give a sh*t pasal dressing (bukan dressing utk melawa, tp utk sopan). pakai baju n tudong pon kdg2 x iron, pakai short sleaves tu mmg dh biasa, klu pkai tudung pon lbh krg, everytime PE or pape je la event sports, mmg akan confirm tuck in baju (klu x tuck in, aku rasa mcm selekeh) however, klu buat kat sini, some will stare at u.

berbalik kepada dunia yg nyata, bila dh masok u, mmg sngt akward dgn bdk2 lelaki. bukan nya smpi x leh nk cakap or berbual, tp, it takes nerve to do so. i wonder how some people do it casualy.

nak di jadikan cerita, bila dlm klas, kene plak duduk sblh lelaki. i was like, "great". luckyly yg duduk sblah aku tu cam agak bagos. dia cam try buat small talk ngan aku. tp sorry, aku mmg hambar sket bila borak2 dgn org yg x brapa kenal (serious, rasa bersalah). dh la meja kiteorg tu kecik cam meja budak2 highschool jepon. maka, tiap2 hari la berlaku skin contact secara x sengaja. (dosa2) don't get me wrong, otoko (lelaki) kelas aku sume baik2 je. aku je yg akward.

i have this uneasy feeling bila with them. it's something like, "eh, kain aku jarang?, tudung aku ok x?, rambut aku terkeluar x?". bnyk benda yg nk kena jaga. sume ni mmg x pernah terfikir pon masa kat skola dulu. kain terselak ke, duduk terkangkang ke, org x ckp pape pon dulu.

klu kat skola dulu, prmpuan yg jd leader. so, the instinct to lead tu mmg agk tggi la. jd bila kat sini, a lot of things related to leadership akan dilakukan oleh lelaki. which is how things are normally handled. tp, rasa cm x biasa jgk.

5 years with the same ideology, same environment, same culture. how can someone like me change overnight?

after about 2 to 3 months, i guess i became accustomed to it. although this uneasy feeling is still there, i guess, i'm adapting pretty well?.

last but not least, aku just nk share aku nye experience. no harm intended. ada mungkin akn terasa or cam x faham kenapa aku as if nk buat a big deal about this (which i'm not). i just wanna say that, people live differently and takes things differently. that's why we have blogs, to share. (^^)