Something yg dh Lama TERPENDAM...

Bismillahirrahmanirahim,this post is actually utk juniors2 ku di stf. tp, klu ada org lain nak baca pon x pe(ceh2 bajet rmi sngt org nk baca) hurm... sayang sngt korang. ok. weird. haha.
sorry sngt x post benda ni awal2. aku sbnrnya x brapa selesa nk ckp pasal benda ni b4 this. aku tau spm dh dekat. so hopefully, this sharing of experience dpt bantu korng.

sebelum tu, seriously, post ni bukan la utk membanggakn diri aku sendiri atau ada niat2 lain. aku just hope sngt2 yg ramai org terutamanya juniors aku dpt baca n ambil manfaat yg ada. insyaallah.

1stly, pasal result aku.  9A+.
aku pon x sangka Allah nk bg aku result yg bagus macam tu sebenarya. bonda penngetua call aku petang tu (hari before amek result tu). masa tu, aku baru je arrive kat JB. fyi, masa tu i was crossing a very busy road near jusco. sbb bising sngt dgn bunyi kereta, i was actually screaming to the phone. (segan betul. dh la bonda yg call). then, i was told to come to school early tomorrow. i was like, why????
back to the main point, i went to dewan MPC and receive my certificate as one of the pelajar cemerlang johor.

aku tau, rmi yg x sangka, aku jd best student. definitely, nama2 macam Lisya, Yaya, Wardah yg cikgu2 n org lain target. so, aku just nk humbly share sume experience aku.

seperti yg ramai tau, aku bukan la budak yg selalu dpt good marks dlm exam. aku pernah je dpt E ngan C dlm exam. aku, klu suroh buat karangan BM, mmg la jd belacan. dlm buku krgn aku penoh dgn komen2 dr cikgu. so, let me clarify bahawa aku mmg bukan golongan budak2 super bijak. smpai akhir thn f4 pon, add aku still C.

jadi, bila aku fikir balik, result 9A+ tu adalah rahmat dan dugaan yg amatlah besar utk aku.

lepas amek spm, ada a few things yg aku rasa korg boleh pakai.

1st. STUDY. ilmu x dtg bergolek. walaupon kita kat skola SBP (dimana kita disuap oleh guru2 dengan pelbagai ilmu), still, benda study x dpt dielakkan. aku tau, kerja rumah bnyk kan? so, amek peluang utk study smbil buat kerja rumah. masa buat kerjarumah tu, study sekali dgn sekurang-kurangnya, faham apa yg kita tulis tu. jgn copy paste bulat2 kerja kawan(melainkan klu mmg dh x sempat sngt ^^ ).

2nd. jgn TIDO dlm KELAS. aku rasa, aku mmg x layak nk ckp pasal ni. seriously, rugi klu tido. aku tau, bila korng mengantok sngt dlm kelas, korg mmg confirm ah x faham apa cikgu tgh ajar. tp, try jgn tido. cuba korng bygkn, klu korang tido, blh kata confirm jugak la yg korng mmg akan dpt 0% dr kelas hari tu. tp, klu korng tahan diri dan dengar je walau x faham, kurang2 10% boleh dpt.

3rd. banyak3 kn berdoa kat ALLAH. ni sngat la penting. klu korang usaha macam mana pon, klu Allah x nk jadikan,  x kan jadi. always percaya yg Allah tu Maha Pemurah, Maha Penyayang. kita kena sentiasa percaya, klu Allah nak amek atau bagi kejayaan tu kpd kita, adalah sngt mudah.

klu kat stf, aku percaya, bukan la sush sngt nak buat benda2 kt bwh ni.

• lepas solat fardhu, sujud & doa kpd Allah
• try cari masa utk solat duha kat mufaz. sekali sekala, korbankanlah makan nasi lemak kat kantin tu.
• b4 tido, baca la Al-Mulk saeng ngan PA system. jgn buat2 x tau je.

Dugaan2.aku, masa dekat2 spm dulu, suka sngt tido awal. balik je prep, x pon, 9.30mlm tu aku tros tido. mengantok sngt. dlm pukul 3pg ke, bru bgn utk siapkn homework. walaupon cuak bgn pagi2 buta, aku kuatkan hati dgn berdetik, Aku nk tuntut ilmu. Insya Allah, Allah akan bantu aku.

bayangkan masa lepas paper BM (paper 1st spm) aku rasa cam nak nagis gila. lepas kluar dewan, Cikgu Daliza tnya aku. "camne?". (cikgu Daliza sbgi guru kelas n guru BM aku mmg tahu thp kemampuan kau dlm BM) aku terus geleng2 kepala n cakap,"x tau la cikgu, saya rasa macam....". cikgu terus kata, " syuu... x de pape tu. insyaAlllah ok".

about 1 hari b4 paper BI, aku tiba2 kena mcm stress attack. leher n muscle kat bahu aku cam tense gila. masa jwp paper spm tu, aku pakai cool fever kat blakang aku. aku admit, aku cepat tension. emosion aku sngt la x stable. mungkin aku terlupa diri kot. mula2 aku sngka, paper BI adlh paper yg paling aku boleh score. Allah sygkn aku. Allah x nak aku lupa dia. dan sekali lg aku menangis lps jwp paper. aku rasa spnjg spm ni, asyik seisi nangis2 je.

ni aku hamba yg lemah ni nak share lg sket.
cuba korang try Qiam. atau dgn kata lain, solat tahyajud. mungkin nak bgn pagi pukul 3.00 tu untuk buat banyak2 jenis solat tu ssh utk kita sume yg lemah bab2 bgn awal ni. aku pon smpi skarng x mampu. jd, aku cdgkan try bgn awal sket dr biasa. kata kanlah korang bgn pukul 5.30pg ke? aku rasa x de la ssh sngt kan. klu masa tu subuh blom masok, sempat sngt korang nak buat solat tahajud 2 rakaat kan?. dr x buat lansung, buat sikit pon ok la kan.

Finally aku kat sini just nak share. hope sngt sume ni dpt membawa manfaat kat korng. dgn menulis ni, aku juga hope dpt mengingatkan diri aku sendiri. manusia kn mudah lupa. lg2 yg diberi nikmat. apa yg aku post ni adlh dari some of the not so vivid memory of what i have. korang amek yg keroh buang yg jernih ye. terima ksh kat guru, kwn2 n family yg bnyk support. terima kasih ya Allah sbb bagi sume rahmat ni.... (^^)

P/s: calon2 spm 2011, gud luck. stfians, we can do it. (^0^) insyaAllah....

sem 2

finally, dh nk masok sem 2 of my live as an RPKJ student. haish....

x sangka sbnrnya yg aku dh habiskn sem 1. 

 

time do flies. now, we are gonna have to gear up fr more challenge. can u imagine? learning chemistry　(化学), physics (物理） and maths (数学） in japanese?

but, thousands of Malaysian students b4 me took the same path and succeeded. come on. X kan la kau ni B*D*H (u know the word) sngt kot zarief? hehs. seriously.

masa 期末試験　（exam final sem) hr tu, i wasn't really sure what i truly had in mind. i haven't changed much i guess. still in the state of 'kelaraan' . aku x tau la. i thought i was armed to the teeth utk amek exam ni. but, i was wrong. mmg apa yg kuar exam tu almost sume dh blajar. tp, aku x revise thoroughly bnyk benda. sbb tu la kot aku fail to remember a lot of stuff. bygkan, masa jwb paper maths hr tu, aku ada EXTRA 1 jam kot dr 2jam 30 min tu. bukan extra sbb aku dh hbs jwb, tp extra sbb aku dh x tau nk jwb mcm mana utk lbh kurang 8 soalan. aku dh mula あきらめました（give up) masa tu. apa la nak jd dgn result aku nnt ae? harap sngt2 x fail. 

aku mmg bukan budak all star cam org lain. till now, nak dpt manten (full marks) tu still bkn benda yg sng utk aku. setengah org, muka lepak je. nak kata study, cam x nmpk plak. tp, time テスト (test), manten gak. untung la~ . rezeki diorg la kot. hurm...

we just received a pile of japanese textbooks from 科学　（science) nye sensei. i was like (*O*). even the book cover was hard enough fr me to fully comprehend. it just occurred to me that it was a bad sign. masa 全体会　(perjumpaan) hr tu, sensei nye perckpn cam ssh nk fhm. cuak aku bila fikir nk blaja ngan diorg 科学.  basic conversation pon x brapa nk lepas. apatah lg 科学？

ni buku2 nya...

aku just sngt la percaya yg Allah tu Maha pemurah, Maha penyayang dan Maha adil. if we are not able to achieve what we want, it probably means that what we want is not something that would do us any good or we haven't worked hard enough fr it. Insya Allah, klu kita dh usaha, Allah akn makbulkan.   - Allah Maha mengetahui. (^_^) 

みんな，いっしょに　がんばろう！！！

finally, live well or live hell, we choose. Insya Allah.

leaving high school

ok. sehari 2 ni cam rajin plak nk post.

lebih kurang 2 bulan lepas, aku baru daftr masok UM utk RPKJ (rancangan persediaan khas jepon) . so, my life as a high school student ends. honestly, every single day aku teringat kat skola n kawan2 lama. it feels so weird in this so-called new environment.

bila aku fikir semula, aku macam sedikit menyesal la masok sini awal2. aku x berapa tanamkn niat aku utk betul2 belajar. aku rasa aku macam banyk lalai dengan benda2 yg lara n x berfaedah. just imagine, although aku dh about 1 month kat sana, i was still questioning my presence there. aku still tanya diri aku, "kenapa aku kat sini?, betol ke aku nk pegi jepon?" i was pretty unsure about everything. org lain mybe dh masok gear 5 utk study n focus kat dlm kelas n lecture. klu time kuiz tu, mesti ramai je yg manten(full marks). tp aku in the other hand, still in a state of kelaraan. klu aku dpt separoh betol pon aku dh happy. ~haish.

bila kita study bahasa, u need a strong memory to memorize vocabs and not to forget, a deep love towards the language. it happens to be that i don't have both. honestly, i forget things easily and i'm really bad at memorizing stuff (dh la kena hafal kanji. 1 hari 12 ketol. pengsan2). kat sini ramai yg minat anime n manga, so, a lot of them are doing well in their japanese language studies. probably because they are driven by their passion. some even have basics because they entered private classes or studied at school.

seriously, old habits are hard to throw. kat sekolah, rasanya sume org tau i'm the kind of person yg selalu tido dlm kelas n x siap homework. i have no idea how i got my SPM results. there must have been something wrong with the slip or something. honestly, i don't think i deserve my spm result. i was never the top student in class. i rarely ask my teachers like some of my friends and i even got an E for my add maths when i was in form 4. x sangka sngt Allah nk bg sume ni. i feel bad for some of my friends that put greater effort in their studies than me. tp, bila fikir semula, my results was actually an ujian from Allah. ujian ni dtg dlm pelbagai katachi(bentuk). rahmat itu adlh ujian, musibah itu juga adlh ujian. tp, aku ni mmg hamba Allah yg sngt lemah. Aku lalai.

minggu lepas baru je exam mid sem. serious, rasa macam boleh fail je. aku rasa malu kot klu fail sbb mesti akn ada org kata or atleast terdetik dlm hati diorng, "eleh, budak ni x de la power sngt pon, alah, kata dari stf?". haha. mungkin aku judgemental, tp, that's what people do right?

buat masa ni, aku rasa aku kena study lebih sikit, tmbhkn effort, siapkan tutorial dgn penuh pemahaman, cuba cari smgt yg baru n betulkn hubungan aku dgn Allah. we can never be perfect. therefore, trying is actually good enough. not to forget, aku kene buang semua attitude buruk aku kat high school dulu.

p/s: memandngkn followers aku ni ada lbh krg 12 or je. mybe, x rmi yg baca post ni. tp, klu ada juniors aku tgh baca, aku hope sngt korang study rerajin kat stf n hargai masa kat sana. trust me, life kat sana adlh sngt best. u can never find a place like tht in this world again.

akward alert.

5 years of my live in an all girl's school was loads of fun. (penggunaan bhsa rojak akn dignkn selepas ini) seriously, x leh nak describe bertapa meaningfulnya hidup kat jb fr 5 years. the bond dgn kwn2, formates, cikgu2. the only male yg ada hanya la cikgu, abang dining hall n pakcik guard (tu pon x dpt nk make up 95% of the population kt skolah). hidup dikelilingi prmpuan n it was such an advantage in a way. bayangkan, klu skolah coed, jawatan pengerusi or ketua pape pon mesti lelaki biasanya. klu sports plak, girls x rmi yg aktif sbb lelaki biasanya conquer court, x pon girls rmi yg segan.

the disadvantage nya, jatoh kpd org2 yg cam aku. bila dh kuar skolah, masok u, rasa mcm sngt akward dgn boys. lg2 bila program kita ada boys double dr prmpuan. ~haish~. mybe ramai je dak2 all girls yg kluar dr skola diorg n mcm ok je. mesti korg rasa cam poyo kn knp aku nk blog pasal benda ni, but mesti ada gak yg kene sindrom2 culture shock cam aku.

klu kat skola dulu, i don't give a sh*t pasal dressing (bukan dressing utk melawa, tp utk sopan). pakai baju n tudong pon kdg2 x iron, pakai short sleaves tu mmg dh biasa, klu pkai tudung pon lbh krg, everytime PE or pape je la event sports, mmg akan confirm tuck in baju (klu x tuck in, aku rasa mcm selekeh) however, klu buat kat sini, some will stare at u.

berbalik kepada dunia yg nyata, bila dh masok u, mmg sngt akward dgn bdk2 lelaki. bukan nya smpi x leh nk cakap or berbual, tp, it takes nerve to do so. i wonder how some people do it casualy.

nak di jadikan cerita, bila dlm klas, kene plak duduk sblh lelaki. i was like, "great". luckyly yg duduk sblah aku tu cam agak bagos. dia cam try buat small talk ngan aku. tp sorry, aku mmg hambar sket bila borak2 dgn org yg x brapa kenal (serious, rasa bersalah). dh la meja kiteorg tu kecik cam meja budak2 highschool jepon. maka, tiap2 hari la berlaku skin contact secara x sengaja. (dosa2) don't get me wrong, otoko (lelaki) kelas aku sume baik2 je. aku je yg akward.

i have this uneasy feeling bila with them. it's something like, "eh, kain aku jarang?, tudung aku ok x?, rambut aku terkeluar x?". bnyk benda yg nk kena jaga. sume ni mmg x pernah terfikir pon masa kat skola dulu. kain terselak ke, duduk terkangkang ke, org x ckp pape pon dulu.

klu kat skola dulu, prmpuan yg jd leader. so, the instinct to lead tu mmg agk tggi la. jd bila kat sini, a lot of things related to leadership akan dilakukan oleh lelaki. which is how things are normally handled. tp, rasa cm x biasa jgk.

5 years with the same ideology, same environment, same culture. how can someone like me change overnight?

after about 2 to 3 months, i guess i became accustomed to it. although this uneasy feeling is still there, i guess, i'm adapting pretty well?.

last but not least, aku just nk share aku nye experience. no harm intended. ada mungkin akn terasa or cam x faham kenapa aku as if nk buat a big deal about this (which i'm not). i just wanna say that, people live differently and takes things differently. that's why we have blogs, to share. (^^)